“Promise. . .” Original Song Lyrics
England Green
The rain it raineth every day
At least it sometimes feels that way
And mostly on Bank Holiday
Which seemeth somewhat mean
And yet, looked at another way,
It is but little price to pay
The rain it raineth every day
To keep Old England green
Chorus:  England green!  England green!
The rain it raineth every day
To keep Old England green
In England’s green and pleasant land
We all hold out a hopeful hand
Because we know and understand
What keeps Old England green
So let the rain rain every day
And every night between
For, oh, the rain it raineth every day
To keep Old England green
Chorus
The proud and mighty Eskimo
Has umpteen different names for snow
And Englishmen all likewise know
A phrase or two to mean “it’s raining”
Stair rods, cats and dogs
A lovely day for ducks and frogs
It’s hissing (tipping) down, still what’s the odds
It’s keeping England green
Chorus
The rain it raineth both upon
The just and unjust fella
But mostly on the just, the unjust
Just steals the just’s umbrella
Let fall the rain on whomsoe’re it will
On commoner or Queen
For, oh, the rain it raineth every day
To keep Old England green
Chorus
Meanwhile at Lords old England soldier on
Four wickets down for forty one
It’s looking like the follow-on
And now Vaughan’s gone for seventeen
Shane Warne nagging at the rough
Outside off stump - we’ve had enough
Great God bring on the rain, the stuff
That saves the England Team
Chorus:  England Team!  England Team!
Great God bring on the rain, the stuff
That saves the England Team
Tyne, Dogger, Fisher, German Bight
Humber, Thames, Dover, Wight
997 rain in sight. . .good
From Plymouth to the Pennine Way
St Abbs Head to St Austell Bay
The rain it raineth every day
To keep Old England green
Chorus:  England green! England green!
The rain it raineth every day
                           To keep Old England green

Baynham and Spencer
May we introduce ourselves?
I’m Hilary, I’m Grant,
Which only leaves the matter of our second names extant

We’re Baynham and Spencer,
Together we dispense a kind of English entertainment all our own
Top of the bill the name of QuickSilver
Or The Quickies as we’ve now become colloquially known
We’ ll make you smile and tap your feet,
We’ ll make you buy our records
(Or we’ll have a damn good try!)
We’re Baynham and Spencer
 I’m Spencer, I’m Baynham
And do we entertain ‘em, yes sirree!
Hysterically, reflectively,
QuickSilver collectively
But Baynham and Spencer are we

Now briefly to remind you,
I am Grant and I am Hilary
But having dealt with that nomenclaturial ancillary

We’re Baynham and Spencer,
Who now and again surprise and shock with an apocopated rhyme,
Ready and willing, we’ ll sing for a shilling
As we find ourselves explaining to the taxman all the time
I suppose you’d call us mainstream
Though avoiding the clichés
And we’re heterosexual
That’s novel these days!
We’re Baynham and Spencer
Or Spencer and Baynham,
A plenum power we’re sure you will agree,
Charming and slick
Collectively QuickSilver
Baynham and Spencer are we





          

           
Promise Tonight
And so at last the evening comes
The kids are both round at her Mum’s
We’ve got a bottle of fizz
And the whole house is alive with candle light
I’m on a promise tonight

And as we sip our loving cup
We talk of this and that ‘til
Something else comes up
(With a bit of luck)
And then she asks me
Do I feel all right (and I say not half!)
I’m on a promise tonight

Tonight there’ll be no big surprises
Tonight we’re just an ordinary couple alone
Left to our own devices
Nothing appalling, just some rope, a tarpaulin
A bucket of Angel Delight
We’ll be all right tonight
And then we’ll. . . . . . .tonight
And then we’ll. . . . . . .tonight
(Rather sadly that was all in real time)
But then we do it again until I get it right
I’m on a promise tonight

A tangled pile of bras and briefs
And socks and tights
Night night darling, I’ll get the lights
See you next week
When do you say it is he’s working nights?
And I’ll be singing
I’m on a promise tonight
I’m on a promise tonight
I’m on a promise tonight

Distraction
I don't booze late in bars
Don't cruise around in fancy cars
I choose not to have no distractions to this love affair of ours
I don't play cards or dice
Don't drink pink champagne on ice it's nice
But you are my distraction
At a fraction of the price

Some guys may roam
For the night life hath its charms
But I find at home
Distraction in the action of my sweet thing's arms
I don't need wine or weed or women
Of a certain breed
For you're my one distraction
Satisfaction guaranteed, indeed

I don't go makin' eyes at distracting looking guys
I don't see the attraction
For I find, to my surprise,
Variety is not for me
I aspire to something higher
It's true, in you I find all the distraction I desire

Dressed up to slay
I used to like to show a little knee
But now I'm Doris Day
Home and happy in a gingham thingummy
My flirtin' days are through
Don't need no-one else 'cos to
My total satisfaction my distraction is you

Some guys may stray
But I figure they ain't too bright
'Cos why play away
When you've got the home advantage every night
My roaming days are through
Don't need no-one else 'cos
To my total satisfaction
I have found my main attraction
Those other guys can chase the action
My distraction is you

I don't go pitchin' the woo like the other guys do
Because you're my boopy-doo

A Primrose
It’s Spring again, that same old thing again
Lambs and bunnies start to fatten
Bulbs burst forth and farm beasts batten
Vernal birds begin to fraternise
And buds go ‘ping’
On that same eternal pattern
Blossoms blossom, catkins catten
At a nod from God and David Attenbrough
It’s Spring again, that same old thing again

And our hearts are s’posed to gladden
How each lass has picked her lad ‘n’
How little heifer cow has somehow picked a bull
But for me the Spring makeover team
Is running out of steam
And, oh, that green and yellow colour scheme
Is so predictable

It’s Spring again, that same old thing again
P’raps it’s me just getting older
Time keeps jogging at my shoulder
But each Springtime leaves me cold
Or cold, that is, until
Softly from her Autumn sleeping
From the hedgerow’s winter keeping
Wakes a dear friend shyly peeping out
Who always will make my heart stand still
And make these old eyes fill
A primrose, a pretty primrose in her prime
A primrose does it for me every time
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